Bicultural Mama Thanks You and Reveals Top 5 Posts of 2011

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Happy New Year's Eve! It's hard to believe another year has come and gone. 2011 was a big year for me in terms of a career change - I left the corporate office to pursue a long time goal to write. In addition to launching Bicultural Mama, I also started freelance writing for other businesses.

I truly am lucky to have this opportunity to pursue what I love while at the same time spending more time with my 2 year old (something I had missed while working long hours at the corporate office). Thank you to my husband and my family for their unwavering support, as well as my Facebook and Twitter friends who encouraged me along the way. Most of all I thank the readers of Bicultural Mama for reading my posts and coming back.

Looking at 2011, here are the five most popular culture/commentary posts.

1. World Trade Center Observation Deck Photos Two Weeks Before 9/11
With the 10th anniversary of 9/11 taking place this year, I reflected on my experience living in New York City when the plane hit the Twin Towers. I had visited the World Trade Center just two week before the tragic event, and the photos in my post reflect the favorites that I took that day.

2. Did You Know? 20 Mixed Raced Celebrities
Many of today's most popular celebrities are of mixed-race (perhaps that's why they are so gorgeous). Check out this fun list of bicultural and multicultural actors, athletes, and more.

3. My Twitter Turnaround as an Ex-Hater
I use to hate Twitter, but that was before I learned how to properly use it. Now I "get it" and see the benefits.  I also met a lot of other fabulous bloggers through Twitter who have supported me along the way.

4. What is the Value of a Child's Life in China
This emotional piece was driven by a tragic video of a hit-and-run van running over a 2 year old girl in China while pedestrians looked on and walked by.

5. "We will put them on the back of the bus where they belong!" Racist Tactics Used in Election Campaign
In a New York election, volunteers representing an incumbent seeking reelection harass and throw racist slurs directed at a Black opponent. All is captured on video.

I hope you and your family have a safe and Happy New Year!

Cheers,
Maria

Winner Announced - Redpack Tomatoes Gift Pack

Pin It Congratulations to the lucky winner of Bicultural Mama's Redpack Tomatoes Gift Pack Giveaway! The winner is Jessica A. from Oklahoma:

Winner was chosen via Random.org. I will contact the winner via email and winner must respond within 48 hours or a new winner will be picked.

Congratulations, and thank you to everyone who entered. Happy New Year!

Picky Eaters No More with FunBites Food Shape Cutters

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New FunBites makes eating food fun for kids.
Photo: FunBites

Living with picky eaters? You're not alone. Research of over 800 parents conducted by FunBites revealed that 63% say their kids are picky eaters and 68% say mealtime is stressful. Bobbie, mother of two, encountered similar meal time challenges with her little ones. The mompreneur decided to make eating more fun by creating FunBites, the first ever kitchen tool that cuts kids' food into fun-shaped bite-sized pieces.

Launched into the market just last month, the patented kitchen tool easily cuts food into small bites with a simple press of its curved blades. Then simply insert the matching popper to release the shapes from the tool. FunBites is made of sturdy plastic (no sharp metal blades to worry about) and is 100% BPA free. FunBites can create squares, hearts, and other shapes in kid-friendly foods like sandwiches, burgers, pancakes, waffles, cheese, and more. For easy cleanup, FunBites is dishwasher-safe.

I sampled both versions of FunBites – the Luv it! (creates one big heart from 10 geometric shapes) and the Cube it! (creates 12 bite-sized squares). My 2-year old is picky at meal times so I was curious if the fun shapes would change her eating behavior. I tried it on a piece of potato bread by grasping the FunBites handles on both sides, pressing down firmly while rocking it back and forth to cut all the way through the food. I then inserted the matching popper top to pop out the shapes. The whole process took less than 10 seconds.

I presented a plateful of fun shapes to my daughter told her about how she could now eat heart-shaped bread. She smiled, played with the shapes a bit, then put them into her mouth. Success! I am looking forward to using FunBites on all other types of foods.

FunBites retails for $12.99 at http://www.funbites.com/ and receive free shipping by using the code FreeShipDec2011 before 1/2/12. For more information, please visit the FunBites website and also "LIKE" its Facebook page at www.faceboook.com/funbites.

To see FunBites in action, view this YouTube video: http://youtu.be/0cq180-fHz8

Disclosure: Author did not receive any monetary compensation for this post. Author did receive a sample of the product to review. All opinions expressed are solely those of the author.

Happy Holidays from Our House to Yours

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Wishing you a wonderful holiday season with lots of love, laughter, and smiles!

Urban Travel Patterns Infographic– Longest Commutes and more

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In a previous post I wrote about HopStop, an online provider of pedestrian navigation and mobile transit routing, and how it even included best stroller routes for parents to take around cities.

HopStop has now released its first Urban Travel Patterns infographic which includes insights about how travelers in over 68 major metropolitan areas across 150+ cities are getting to their destinations.

The infographic is based on more than 400 million completed routes and 2.25 billion miles traveled by HopStop users who access the service via HopStop’s website or through its mobile services.

Highlights include:

• Think New Yorkers have the longest average transit commute? New York ranked third. First place goes to Chicago (47.1 minutes).
• Major beach hub Miami is the leading calorie-burning city with 44 calories burned on average per route.
• People plan for their weekends using HopStop – the site’s busiest days are Thursdays.

The Golden Dragon Acrobats: Dec 27-31

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Before there was Cirque du Soleil, there were Chinese acrobats who performed breathtaking, gravity-defying acts. The tradition continues with The Golden Dragon Acrobats from China who will be performing at the Queens Theatre during winter break (December 27 through 31).

The award-winning performers feature amazing acrobatics, juggling, traditional dances, beautiful costumes, and mind-boggling contortionists.

The special engagement, directed by Danny Chang and choreographed by Angela Chang, also offers a special New Years Eve performance on Saturday, December 31st that includes a complimentary champagne toast.

The Queens Theatre is located in Flushing Meadow Corona Park. A free shuttle bus is available from Flushing. Performances take place December 27th through 31st, Tuesday through Saturday, 2 PM and 7 PM daily.  Tickets cost $32, with a special family 4-pack for $100. 

For more information and to purchase tickets, visit www.queenstheatre.org or call 718-760-0064.

Disclosure: Author did not receive any compensation or free items for this post. All opinions expressed are solely those of the author. Article was first posted on the Examiner.com under the NY Motherhood Examiner and republished here with permission by the author who is also the same as Bicultural Mama.

OMGmother, a Virtual Godparent Site, Launches Store

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A few months ago I wrote a post about OMGmother (Oh My Godmother), a new website offering virtual godparent services. OMGmother has just launched a new store where OMGparents can find presents for their godchildren.

The founders of the site have picked products for children ages 0-2, 3-6, and 7-12 years. The store carries items ranging from toys, clothing, bedding, books, educational items and more. Within each age category are subcategories with cute headings like, “OMG My Christening,” “OMG I Love Napping,” and “OMG I’m a Fashionistar.”

To find out more about virtual godparent services, visit www.OMGmother.com. To shop its store, visit www.omgmother.com/content/shop.

Disclosure: Author did not receive any compensation or products for this post. Author just thinks the site is a cool concept and the store carries cute items. All opinions expressed are solely those of the author.

Racism at Root of Pulled Ads from TLC Show “All-American Muslim”

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All-American Muslim features the 
Aoude family and life with a new baby.
Photo: TLC.com

TLC’s show All-American Muslim premiered last month, depicting five Muslim families in Dearborn, Michigan. I happened to stumble upon the show and immediately took interest because it is rare to find Muslims shown in a positive light, and it was set in a Detroit suburb not too far from where I grew up.

Dearborn is most known as the headquarters for Ford Motor Company. My dad worked there, so as I child I visited Dearborn many times. While growing up, the town’s population evolved to become heavily Arab-American. I never thought anything about these emerging demographics because the changes were uneventful.

Then 9/11 happened, and I was there, too, living just a couple miles from Ground Zero. After that day many Americans viewed Muslims with suspicion, wondering if all were terrorists.

At the center of controversy.
Photo: flickr.com/bytehead

Lowes Home Improvement has supported the stereotyping of Muslims by pulling its ads from TLC’s All-American Muslim under pressure from the Florida Family Association, a Christian group.

The email from this conservative group, sent to the shows’ advertisers, claimed the reality series falsely humanized Muslims in America, asking them to “not support TLC propaganda" because "the show profiles only Muslims that appear to be ordinary folks while excluding many Islamic believers whose agenda poses a clear and present danger to the liberties and traditional values that the majority of Americans cherish."

It is incredulous that the Christian organization is complaining that the show only included nice American families who happen to be Muslim instead of depicting these men, women, and children as radicals. It’s like hijacking a reality show featuring white Christian families and demanding it include convicts because white people can be felons, too. The Florida Family Association touts its own bigotry-filled propaganda under the guise of “family values.” Promoting love and acceptance are family values, not hate and bigotry.

Police officer Mike Jaafa and his
family in All-American Muslim.
Photo: TLC.com

When I watched the show, it indeed featured Muslims families in everyday settings. One man was a police officer, another one a father who coached his son’s football team. A young mother dealt with feeling overwhelmed after her baby’s birth, and a female entrepreneur conducted business and hung out with friends. One episode showed the wedding between an Arab-American woman and an Irish-American man.

In other words, All-American Muslim does not depict Arab Americans as bomb-toting terrorists. Stereotyping has taken place before in American history with the internment of Japanese-American families during World War II. The American government back then assumed all Japanese-Americans were enemies of their own country after Japan bombed Pearl Harbor. People know now that this typecasting and internment of these Americans were tragic misjudgments, but when will some learn from past mistakes?

In a world already filled with negativity, the Florida Family Association further perpetuated this, and Lowes Home Improvement has followed. Fortunately, others are speaking out via boycotts and protests to Lowes stores. High profile names like Mia Farrow, Kal Penn, and Russell Simmons are also condemning the retailer and the Florida Family Association.

In fact, Russell Simmons is a supporter of the My Fellow American project which is an online film and social media project that asks Americans to pledge and spread a message that Muslims are our fellow Americans. Anyone can take the pledge by visiting www.myfellowamerican.us or follow on Facebook. It’s one small step we can all take to take a stand against bigotry.

All-American Muslim airs on TLC on Sundays 10/9c.

Dolphin Organics: Can’t find it in nature, not in our products

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Family-owned Dolphin Organics makes natural and organic personal care products for children.
Image: DolphinOrganics.com

Like many parents, Nigel and Ayo, wanted to use only natural and organic products on their children. These parents of twin girls found that many products with labels touting “natural” and “organic” still contained artificial and potentially harmful ingredients. They decided to create their own products to ensure their credibility, and thus launched Dolphin Organics.

Its product line includes baby shampoo & body wash, hair conditioner, baby lotion, baby bubble bath, travel set, and gift baskets. All of these natural and organic baby products are vegan, hypoallergenic, and free of parabens, sodium benzoate and all harsh chemicals.

Under the mantra, “If you can’t find it in nature, you won’t find it in our products,” Dolphin Organics features innovative labels that list in columns every ingredient, and then marks each as organic, natural, or artificial – of course there are no checks next to the latter one.

Dolphin Organics promotes transparency with its
ingredients, listing them in columns and marking
each as either natural or organic.
Image: DolphinOrganics.com

Dolphin Organics also minimizes its carbon footprint by using packaging made with Post Consumer Recycled material. Their products are never ever tested on animals.

A portion of each product sold goes to the not-for-profit organization Friends of Karen, a local charity dedicated to supporting families of critically-ill children.

Like all natural and organic children’s toiletry products, Dolphin Organics price points may cost more than say, a Johnson & Johnson item. However, the purchase of these products will not only help to keep children safe from harmful chemicals, but also supports an eco-friendly small business with a heart big enough to help a children’s charity.

To find Dolphin Organic products including pricing and product sizes, visit www.dolphinorganics.com. Also go to Dolphin Organic Facebook page for a list of participating retailers.

Disclosure: Author did not receive monetary compensation for this post. Author did receive product samples to assess. All opinions states are solely those of the author.

Mercury-Free Flu Shots Only Upon Request at Retail Pharmacies

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Be informed when receiving
flu shots at retailer pharmacies.
Photo: flickr.com/paulswansen

Ever pass by a local drugstore or supermarket advertising flu shots at their pharmacies? At national retail chains such as Target, CVS, Walgreens and Duane Reade, pharmacies will only offer mercury (thimerosal)-free shots upon request and only until limited supplies run out.

Thimerosal, which is 49 percent mercury by volume, is a widely used vaccine preservative and a known neurotoxin (defined as a substance that can interfere with the activity of the nervous system). In the U.S., thimerosal is present in the majority of seasonal flu vaccines. Vaccines containing mercury are treated as hazardous waste.

“When vaccines are given in a non-medical setting like a drug store or supermarket, it leads people to believe that there are no risks and that is an illusion, which can have serious consequences if the risks are 100 percent for you or your child,” states Barbara Loe Fisher, co-founder and president of the non-profit National Vaccine Information Center (NVIC). 

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) recommends that every American from 6 months old and older should get a flu shot every year.

NVIC suggests that people talk with trusted health care professionals about the influenza vaccination and their options. NVIC also supports the use of common sense  ways to help prevent illness such as washing hands frequently, covering the mouth when coughing, eating a healthy diet rich in vitamin C and D, getting plenty of exercise and rest, and reducing stress.

View the NVIC Flu Prevention Video:

Yum Up Recipes with Redpack Tomatoes Gift Pack *Giveaway* - CLOSED

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One Bicultural Mama reader will *WIN* a gift pack of Redpack tomatoes.
Photo: Maria Adcock

Whether making pasta sauce, fajitas, or just jazzing up a casserole, canned tomatoes are a kitchen staple. They offer versatility and great taste for busy moms and dads who are preparing meals for their families.

Redpack tomatoes is a brand under the Red Gold company, founded in 1942 by Grover Hutcherson and his daughter, Fran. They rebuilt a Midwest cannery to provide fresh-tasting canned food products for the war effort. Today Red Gold remains a family-owned business.

For a healthy meal idea that will warm up tummies, try this recipe from Redpack tomatoes:

Roasted Red Pepper Tomato Soup
Servings: 8   |   Preparation Time: 20 minutes   |   Cook Time: 30 minutes

1 cup chopped onion

1 cup chopped celery

1 (28 oz.) can Redpack Whole Peeled Tomatoes in Juice or Redpack Diced Tomatoes in Juice

1 (26 oz.) jar roasted red bell peppers

2 tablespoons chicken granules

1 teaspoon dried basil

2 cups water or milk

• Spray a large saucepan with cooking spray. Add onions and celery; sauté until tender. Stir in REDPACK® WHOLE PEELED TOMATOES in JUICE (if use whole cut up tomatoes first) and juice.
• Puree the roasted red peppers with liquid and add to saucepan. Add chicken broth packets and basil. Bring mixture to a boil, reduce to simmer and cook 30 minutes to blend flavors.
• Add water (or milk for a creamy soup) to desired consistency. Serve hot or cold.
• Optional garnish: sour cream and fresh basil leaves. Soup may be made a day or two ahead to improve the flavor.

NUTRITIONAL FACTS PER SERVING
Calories 80, Fat 1.5g, Trans Fat 0g, Cholesterol 5mg, Sodium 970mg, Carbohydrate 14g, Fiber 2g, Protein 4g, Vitamin A 100%, Vitamin C 110%, Calcium 10%, Iron 8%

ENTER THE *GIVEAWAY*

Bicultural Mama is partnering with Red Gold to give one lucky reader 1 gift pack containing six 14.5 oz. Red Pack brand canned tomatoes.

Varieties in the gift pack include the following canned tomatoes:

• Diced
• Whole
• Crushed
• Petite Diced
• Sliced
• Puree

Please review the instructions below to enter.

Get Rid of the Itches with New Baby Magic Gentle Eczema Balm

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New Baby Magic Gentle
Eczema Balm provides
on-the-go itch relief.
Photo; BabyMagic.com

Eczema, a condition that causes red, itchy, irritated skin, affects approximately one in four children. My daughter falls into this group as she’s suffered from mild eczema since she was 3 months old. Eczema has appeared almost everywhere on her body at some point except for her face. We have a prescribed steroid cream, but selectively use it only on the most severe spots since it contains strong medications.

For everywhere else, we’ve slathered on petroleum jelly which temporarily helped to relieve my daughter’s itchiness, but it was a greasy mess. The jelly got all over her clothes, and when out and about people would ask why my baby’s skin was so shiny.

Now that my daughter is a toddler and can talk, she let’s me know when she’s itchy and points to the spots. This typically occurs when we’re not at home so of course I don’t have any lotions on hand. Fortunately Baby Magic, the family-owned company known for their baby products, has introduced an eczema stick balm. It’s non-greasy, conveniently-sized to fit in a purse or diaper bag, smells baby fresh, and soothes the itch.

I like that it’s enriched with vitamins, aloe, oatmeal, and certified organic shea butter to help relieve my daughter’s skin. It’s also hypoallergenic, Paraben-free, and Gluten-free (for those sensitive to gluten this is a plus).  

My daughter likes to pull the stick balm out of my bag and apply it to herself, though it often ends up in other areas like in her hair and on her clothes. Nevertheless, when the balm does get applied to her skin, she stops complaining of the itch.

Baby Magic Gentle Eczema Balm is available at Babies R Us and Toys R Us. The 0.5 oz. stick balm retails for $6.99. Visit www.BabyMagicl.com for more information.

Disclosure: Author did not receive any monetary compensation for this post. Author did receive a Baby Magic Gentle Eczema Balm product to test on her child. All opinions expressed are solely those of the author.

Super Bowl Pop Culture, Social Media, Commercials and More – Infographic

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The holidays may dominate people’s minds this month, but next month it’s all about the Super Bowl. I found an interesting infographic that shows the highlights from the 2011 Super Bowl XLV game between the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburg Steelers. If you’re not into sports stats, you’ll enjoy this infographic as it includes more than that like pop culture, social media, and favorite commercial facts.

A few highlights:

• Super Bowl XLV was the most watched television event in history with 106 million viewers (71% of all U.S. TV viewers).
• The Black Eyed Peas gave a subpar performance (I’d agree, they were pretty disappointing).
• Christina Aguilera sang the wrong words in the National Anthem (every one has a bad day, but too bad hers was in front of millions of people).
• Usher made a unique entrance, leaping over will.i.am’s head and landing in a split during his song, “OMG” (I remember seeing this and thinking, “Ouch!).
• Most Tweeted about ad brand of Super Bowl XLV was Volkswagen (Why? See the next point).
• The overall most liked ad was Volkswagen: The Force (the one with kid Darth Vader).
• Several weeks before the Super Bowl XLV, @nfl had 37,000 followers. Within 1 week before the game, the number of followers rose to almost 1.9 million (Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber have a lot more followers, but 1.9 million isn’t too shabby).

If you cannot view this infographic, you can Click Here to be brought to another site that will display the same image.

Bicultural Mama Featured in The Parent du Jour

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The Parent du Jour, or “The Parent of the Day,” is a project developed by entrepreneurial, work-from-home mom, Lisa Duggan, and freelance journalist and stay-at-home-father of three, Steve Berger.  The project’s goal is to feature 365 moms and dads from around the world.

Each day the site will feature a different parent who will detail in their own words how they combine work, family, and life. The website aims to tell the stories of today’s families—one day, and one parent, at a time.

Today The Parent du Jour is featuring its interview with Bicultural Mama!

Read the interview HERE.

For more information: Dads are featured in the “A Dad a Day” series and moms in “Once Upon a Mom”. Visit www.TheParentduJour.com for more details.

Social Media Moms Mingle at St. Jude and LOFT Event to Promote Charitable Charm Collection

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Social Media Moms Maria (Bicultural Mama), Holly Pavlika (MOMentum)
and Linda (NYC Single Mom) at the St. Jude / LOFT event.
Photo: Getty Images

At a private press event last week, a group of influential social media moms were greeted with a glass of bubbly as they entered the LOFT store in New York City’s trendy Flatiron District. What were they celebrating? The LOFT’s symbolic charm collection to benefit the patients of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital – part of the St. Jude Thanks and Giving campaign to “Give thanks for the healthy kids in your life, and give to those who are not.”

Trumpeting Media founders and event organizers
Esti Berkowitz, Suzanne Chan, and Nancy Johnson Horn.
Photo: Getty Images

One of three types of charm necklaces available at LOFT who will donate
$5 from each purchase to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.
Photo: Getty Images

Organized by Trumpeting Media, a venture formed between mom bloggers Esti Berkowitz (Prime Time Parenting), Suzanne Chan (Mom Confessional), and Nancy Johnson Horn (The Mama Maven), the festive occasion promoted the LOVE, JOY and HOPE of the patients at St. Jude through a preview of the charms. Five dollars from the purchase of every limited edition charm necklace will be donated to St. Jude.

Mingling and shopping created a festive atmosphere at LOFT.
Photo: Getty Images

Friendly waitstaff served champagne and hors d'oeuvers to the ladies.
Photo: Getty Images

Social media moms enjoyed reconnecting with fellow writers, shopping for clothes and accessories with a special 30% discount, and sampling delicious hors d'oeuvres. At the end of the evening, three participants won raffles which included the grand prize of an ultimate night out on LOFT ($150 dollars to spend at LOFT, a free blowout from Drybar, dinner for two at an exclusive restaurant, and the LOFT VIP discount for an entire year).

The LOFT charm collection will benefit St. Jude patients like Gracie.
Photo: Maria Adcock

One of the most touching moments during the evening featured Gracie, a young St. Jude patient. Gracie’s mother spoke of her daughter’s medical journey and how St. Jude provided the support and care needed – all of which helped to extend her daughter’s life beyond the initial three years expected.

Between December 5 through December 31, 2011, LOFT and LOFT Outlet customers will have an opportunity to support St. Jude through an add-on donation during the check out process. Additionally, ANN INC. (parent company of LOFT and Ann Taylor) has committed to donating up to $100,000 from the sale of limited edition products benefiting St. Jude during the Thanks and Giving® campaign, including the three LOFT Cares charm necklaces. Since 2007, the company has raised over $6.7 million for St. Jude through its ANN Cares® charitable initiatives.

Catching up with Mitch (Gay NYC Dad) and
Kerri (Raising Three Savvy Ladies).
Photo: Getty Images

Chatting with Onica (The Mommy Factor) is always fun!
Photo: Maria Adcock

For more information: Visit Loft.com and StJude.org for more details.

Disclosure: I did not receive any monetary compensation or gifts for this post. All opinions expressed are solely my own.

Petcakes Plush Toy Giveaway Winner

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Series 2 Petcakes Plush Toys
Photo: Petcakes

One lucky reader has won a limited series Petcakes plush toy through Bicultural Mama’s giveaway. Congratulations to Jen Allo from Southern California!

Winner powered by Random.org

Winner was chosen via Random.org. I will contact the winner by email, and a response with the winner’s mailing addresses will be needed within 48 hours or a new winner will be picked. 

Thank you to everyone who entered!

Colleges of Our Top Thinkers - Infographic

Pin It I found this interesting infographic called, "Colleges of Our Top Thinkers." Whether you agree or disagree with who's on the list (Prince Charles is a top thinker?), I think the takeaway is that getting a college education is important as it can open doors to a child's future. Click HERE to view a larger version of the image (you'll be brought to a small image, then just click on it to expand). Read on and enjoy!

From: MFA Degree

Dating the “Right” and “Wrong” Race – I’ve Been on Both Sides

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My senior high school photo
Photo: From the archives of Maria Wen Adcock

I grew up in a small, quaint, and non-diverse Midwest town. Throughout my K-12 education, I had only seen maybe 2-3 Asian families (including my own) and one African-American family. For the most part I felt like I fit in just enough, except for some bullying here and there during my younger years.

The first guy I ever went on a date with in high school was also the time I became aware that interracial dating could be an issue. I’ll call him Don. We were both yearbook staff members, and he was a year older than I at age 16. He asked me to the movies, and I was thrilled because I thought he was cute.

My parents understandably did not want this newly-licensed teen to drive their daughter, so Don’s mother offered to drive us. His mom’s demeanor was slightly chilly, but polite. At the theater she sat in the row behind us during the film. It was an uneventful date, and his mother drove me back home afterwards.

After that first date, our parents allowed Don to drive me himself, and we went out about two more times. One day Don casually mentioned to me how his mom didn’t want us to get serious (not that we were going down that path given we had only been on three dates). I asked why, and he said, “Because you’re Chinese.” I was stunned, and then hurt. I didn’t understand why it would matter. After that date, things fizzled out. I sadly realized I was the “wrong” race.

In college I found my first real boyfriend, a blond all-American type with pretty green eyes and a mischievous grin who I’ll call Ricky. Shortly after we started dating, his parents came into town. Nervous to meet them, I asked Ricky, “Are your parents going to mind that I’m Chinese?” He assured me, “My parents say that as long as you’re not Black then they won’t mind.”

I felt a rush of relief – that Ricky’s parents would accept me because Chinese was okay – then guilt for feeling that way. I was now the “right” race, but I knew it was wrong to judge someone based on her skin. I felt a bit better when Ricky said he did not personally agree with his parents’ dating restrictions, though I always felt conflicted about what they had said. Ricky and I ended up dating for almost three years before we grew apart and things ended.

Today I am married to a Caucasian man whose family accepts me as one of their own. They tell me they don’t even notice that I’m different, or Chinese, because I’m just Maria to them – and I’m fine with that.

Have you ever been told you were the “right” or “wrong” race to date?